Whether you were expecting it, desiring it, or surprised by it, separation and divorce sucks.
Unpleasant doesn’t begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions you feel from the near end or end of a relationship that began with intentions of forever.
You had some understanding that this was going to be difficult, but are left unprepared for:
- The loss of family or friends due to “picking sides;”
- Constant worry about finances (or possibility of losing your home);
- Guilt and anxiety about how this is affecting your children; or
- Stress over the entire process.
If you are dealing with the additional hurt of infidelity, it’s hard to measure the anger and insecurity that results from this deep wound betrayal. Being cheated on has the ability to magnify every bad thing you feel about yourself. Sometimes, your spouse deepens the wound by blaming you for their poor character and bad choices.
“Sometimes you don’t feel the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.” – Unknown
You constantly replay scenes filled with arguments and conversations, wishing you said something different; scripting the scene for the next time it comes up, or finding comfort in the edited drama. You doubt your choices, ability to make decisions, and may even question whether anyone else will find you desirable. Most of all: you are just plain tired of feeling bad.
If the end of this relationship was the choice you needed to make to save yourself from a life of physical or emotional abuse, you are probably struggling with mixed feelings that you are unable to express, because you are tired of explaining; tired of apologizing for your choices; tired of being pitied; and tired of being judged.
I help women recover from the hurt of separation or divorce.
I’m here, ready to sit in this space with you to give you the skills to deal with today; in order to give you the strength and insight for a brighter tomorrow.
Separation or divorce support is for you if you are:
- Considering divorce
- Going through a divorce
- Trying to get your life together after divorce
How you feel about your divorce largely depends on how long you were together, how good your relationship was, and how committed you were to your spouse.
How you recover from it depends on you.
Whether this is new or something you have been struggling with for years, you can heal your grief and gain confidence.
Separation and divorce are an unfortunate chapter that some of us have to write.
This is not about fault. This is about deciding to be better.
Life is messy; you don’t have to be.
The Co-parenting Handbook: Raising Well-Adjusted and Resilient Kids from Little Ones to Young Adults through Divorce or Separation – Karen Bonnell
Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married – Gary Chapman
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends, 35th Anniversary Edition – Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti
The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to be Your Best and Bravest Self – Harriet Lerner
The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate – Harriet Lerner
Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts – Harriet Lerner
Talking to Children About Divorce: A Parent’s Guide to Healthy Communication at Each Stage of the Divorce – Jean McBride
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, 2nd Edition – Janis A. Spring
How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not to – Janis A. Spring
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, 3rd Edition – Abigail Trafford